A Letter I Should Have Written
Gednat:
I enjoy expressing myself in letters, so I'm quite baffled now to realize I never wrote you one...maybe it was foolish of me to believe that you would always be there...that all of us would enjoy long life and die when we are already old.
December...you texted me, saying you are in Manila at the moment. You asked if Sam and I were still working in Manila...I answered no...Sam has long been staying in Pangasinan and I have already transferred to Nueva Ecija.
You asked again if anyone is free to meet up...I excused myself reasoning I have some chores to do in Baguio. You replied commenting its quite sad that you'd have to spend your time then in Manila alone. I texted back, (in a very humoous tone) "Well, kung minsan, may mga pagkakataon talagang kailangan nating mag-isa..."
I did not known then that...that would be the last time that I would hear from you...alive. (Had I known...do you think I would have dropped whatever I was doing at that time to meet up?)
The next time I did hear from you was when I was tagged in an FB post...your name was on the list of casualties of the BIFF-MILF and PNP-SAF encounter in Maguindanao last January 25.
At first I felt indifferent, it didn't really sink in at all...until the text messages came pouring in...and the calls came...I don't know I said...I have no news yet...
The whole afternoon passed by...and I was still in denial...I felt numb.
Later that evening, as I was scanning the different news articles written about the incident where you were involved in...the tears came pouring out in a rush...as I kept seeing your name in one page and in another...realization set in and the little hope that I have held on tight slowly slipped away...
After your parents have confirmed it that you are indeed gone...it was until then that I realized the gravity of the situation. All hopes, dreams, wishes...gone away.
My thoughts suddenly went back to your wedding last October...picturing your easy smile...your happy face...beaming at your pretty wife...laughing with your comrades. During the reception, as you were dancing with your wife and your family...I smiled and was amazed...I even said that the two of you made the impossible: two different cultures (North and South) coming together in one perfect union.
I look back further...and remember you during our college days, before you transferred to PNPA and embarked on your police career: the cheerful, helpful, understanding, energetic, reliable, unique, intelligent and very mature Gednat...qualities that you possessed till your death, qualities that endeared you to others.
You were with us in BSU for 2 years...short time but we have come to know you well, and built a friendship that lasted until now. The experiences and memories that we have created in that time will continue to live even if you are gone...
Gednat...you are a very good friend...
You were the one that would initiate little re-unions...I recall you would visit us at BSU (when we were still undergrads) during your short breaks from the academy.
When you were stationed in Rizal and Sam and I were working in Manila, you would insist on meeting us if you get a break during your training. On one occasion, you and Sam even had to wait till 11pm for me to get back from my duty in Laguna!-just so we could grab a late night dinner and be able to chat.
No matter where you were...no matter how far, you would still keep in touch. A simple hi and hello...but you never did forget.
At that point I stopped and wondered...why you? Gednat...who is full of promise...he who is full of life! You who had a lot of things to look forward to, you just settled down and is planning to start your family...it was unfair that even before you were able to get a head-start in life, everything was snatched away in an instant!
That unfortunate incident last Sunday took away your life and the life of numerous others...promising lives that were cut off abruptly...maybe that what makes it painful...you were taken away so suddenly that we had no time to comprehend what was happening until it was too late.
The pain I am feeling right now mirrors what our other friends are feeling...we are all mourning your loss...and is still on the throes of coming to terms of the fact that we will never see your happy smile again, except in our memories...
Yet I know, the pain I am experiencing would not compare to the grief your wife and family would be feeling right now...their loss is great indeed...and my heart cries even more.
It's actually weird, do you recall the last time we came together as DVM-T1? It was during Dorcas' funeral way back in (2008 ?)...and we hope to come again together...for you. We hope to come together for your vigil...
Healing...is a long process...it would take time before we can finally accept what happened...but the void you left would leave a scar. We miss you so much already.
I am praying...and hoping...that you are in a better place now...that from wherever you are up there, may you look down on us here and smile upon us...look upon us fondly and guide us as we try to move on with our lives...
Farewell dear friend...
Sincerely yours,
Jovie
why a very promising young man and father died?
11am, I picked up the phone to call Mrs. M, we kept her pet "Astro" overnight at the clinic for observation. Astro has been feeling poorly the past two days and was vomiting intermittently. When Mrs. M answered the phone, I gave her an update on Astro's status - the dog is feeling much better and has not vomited since last night. Also, the dog showed interest in his food and had consumed all the food given to him this morning. If things keep up that way, it might be possible to discharge Astro later in the afternoon. Mrs. M thanked me and happily agreed to come by later this day to check on her pet.
Communication and sharing of information between vets is now relatively easier. The internet provides many ways and medium on how to share and upload information, new techniques and such, thus allowing anyone to reach a wider audience. With the available information around, we easily learn about rare cases and how to approach delicate cases, how to perform special surgeries. With the all the many communication facets available, it is relatively easy to contact some one, ie. a specialist, from across the globe to ask for a secondary opinion. 
At four in the afternoon, a referral came from a nearby branch of the clinic for laboratory procedures: a complete blood count, x-ray and an ultrasound (the main branch has in-house blood exam machine, x-ray and ultrasound). Since the clinic now has a centralized client data-base, I can just easily access the files through the computer to review the patient's file, even if the owner is not a client of the main branch. After performing the requested laboratory procedures and relaying the results to the attending vet, I sent the animal back to the other branch with all the results. I also encoded all the results and readings on the animal's medical profile in the data-base for record purposes. For future references, we could just easily retrieve the necessary information on the data-base.
Six pm, patient came in for a routine check up, I noticed some lesions
on the skin, after informing the owner of the problem, I decided to do a
skin scraping to check what is causing the problem. After taking a
sample, preparing the slide and checking it on the microscope, I noticed
some parasite which I am not familiar with. Usually, I would go to the
mini-library to browse on books, but now I just use my tablet to search
on-line for the necessary data. I just type the necessary info and
presto! That easy - and way faster. A few moments later I'm explaining
to the owner regarding the dog's disease and what is the proper approach to treat it.
8 pm, I'm busy finishing up the necessary things before I leave for the day. I checked on my patients for the next day, made sure everything is in order. I also checked on the confines, made sure that they had received their medications on time. After filing back the patient forms to their proper places, cleaning up the clutter at the counter top, making sure the consultation tables are clean, placing back the instruments in their proper places, turning off lights that are not needed, I took my time card and logged out. Thankfully, my reliever just stepped in the door. After endorsing all the cases and making note about other reminders, I left the clinic.
Being a veterinarian has indeed changed me, it has affected my views, my principles, my beliefs and outlook in life. Given the chance to be a steward to these adorable and sometimes helpless creatures, I took on the role as care-giver, playmate and friend to these furry pets. And since of course they are not able to express themselves in our terms, special care and understanding has to be given to fully comprehend their conditions...let me tell you, it was not that easy....
But don't get me wrong...that wasn't a downside at all, because we Vets are considered "special" because of that ability: to be able to communicate to animals effectively is a rare talent, some are born with it, while others develop it as they go on. Horse whisperer, dog whisperer, cat whisperer, what ever you would like to call it...that ability is often a much-needed requirement in the veterinary practice. It may seem silly to others but in my opinion, having the ability to understand and to empathize with the animal distinguishes a good veterinarian. 
"Veterinary medicine is more than a career: It is a calling
that attracts compassionate individuals who want to help animals stay
healthy and to care for those that are ill and injured. The very nature
of our profession calls for caring for our clients through their
suffering and sorrow, often at our own emotional and physical cost—the
“cost of caring,” or compassion fatigue. 
I know it was partly my fault, I know it is cowardly of me that instead of facing the problem head-on, I decided to run away. Looking back, I think what really made a difference is the fact that other veterinarians tend to brush off these concerns as mere over-reactions, they refuse to acknowledge that we are individuals that have different reactions to a similar situation and that we cope in different ways. some believe that we should always be tough and act indifferent to any situation...but that is simply not the case for each and every one of us. 
Our empathic reaction can be tempered by staying detached—keeping an adequate “distance” from those we are helping through their trying
experiences by taking breaks during the day, stepping outside the workplace, minding
the number of hours we work, or being assertive of how we schedule
appointments. Mixing appointments that are likely to be “happier,” such
as new puppy/kitten exams or rechecks where we anticipate some
therapeutic success, with those that might be more emotionally demanding
can give you a “break.” Also, it is important that you figure out what
is “yours” to take on in the first place.
The reason behind this is actually not about attaining them...not about finishing them...it about what we become in the process of obtaining these goals and going through these journeys...that's why we bother. 
Most of the time I go on solo trips...throwing my cares in the wind and just simply go! Sometimes my friends or my sisters accompany me...which is better because you have someone to talk to...and bond over the experience...
At the end of every journey, you'll arrive a different person from the one you started out, and that is basically the goal in traveling. The experiences you gain and the lessons you learned along the way will forever remain with you. 
